“We know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose” (Romans 8:28). As I reflect on my life, I am consistently struck by God taking the flawed and sinful to make an instrument of His great purpose.
I can not point to a moment when I first believed in Jesus, but I remember the moment when I became a disciple of the Almighty. Life started out well in a happy Christian home. But when my dad retired from the military things changed. He got a job paying only commissions, making effectively nothing. Soon he tired of coming home and hearing my mom describe the bill collectors that called. So he stopped coming home, spending his nights at a motel or a dance bar. One time Dad and I went on a Florida vacation together to visit his friend Louise. (I later learned she was the “other woman.”) While we were there, he instructed me not to call him “dad,” but “grandpa,” since Louise didn’t know he had children my age. I didn’t mind when my parents got divorced.
My mother re-married and we moved to Orlando. There I became involved in drinking and drugs. My downward slope started with one beer which became two, then three, mixed drinks, shots, and finally smoking marijuana. I was at a crossroads of my life, lacking clarity and hope. Drugs made me feel comfortable and erased my mind’s burdens. Once when my school was on a four-hour lock down and I was stuck in the cafeteria, my only thought was, “I wish I was high.”
On October 23, 2005, my life changed. Before then I had gone to Christian schools, church, and HoneyRock Camp. Yet it was meaningless—a Sunday morning motion and a chance to show off in Bible class. But on this day I lay on my bed, drunk, and remembered that Proverbs has 31 chapters; it awakened an old idea to read a chapter a day. I turned to Proverbs 23 and found it littered with warnings about drinking. God whispered, “Devlin, turn back to Me. It’s about Me.” So I did. That night, alone in my room, I knelt down before the Sovereign King and told Him about my pride and self-centeredness, my faults and weaknesses. I admitted that I deserved His punishment and rejection, but I desired His grace and mercy.
God has worked it all out for good. Before I had a father who left me, but now I have an everlasting Father who will never leave me or forsake me and who loves to hear me call Him “Dad.” Before I looked to drugs and drinking for satisfaction but now I have the joy and abundant life of Jesus Christ. Now I strive to become a disciple of Christ, learning, obeying, and sharing His Word and allowing Him to fulfill His purposes in my life.
